Beyond Layers ~ Creative Story: Week One

I must begin...somewhere!

I'm sitting on a stool in front of my computer, which rests on a piece of furniture, made by my husband, in my kitchen. I'm wishing I had a softer place to sit and write, but my story is hard to tell like the wood I'm sitting on…a perfect place to write for now.

I was a creative child and my imagination led me to see things in different ways. Light bulbs became dolls, brightly colored tissue paper became a way to paint...over lapping colors to create new ones, I would paste the thin sheets to anything, and clay found its way into my hands and I would knead and mold it into all sorts of things. I was a happy and outgoing child.

Then it all changed. I was about six years old when it started. A trusted adult in my life, my father, robbed me of my innocence and it took me 10 years to get it stopped...and by stopped I mean just staying out of his way. Worse than having my innocence taken from me...was the pain of feeling alone, abandoned, worthless, and I trusted no one...not even myself!

I struggled through elementary school, middle school and in high school I took art classes...but the fear of making a mistake, kept me from acknowledging the creativity within me. The problem for me, having been abused, was the need to be perfect in order to hide what was going on in my life. I lost myself to my father's selfishness.

Please understand, I don't think being abused makes me special in any way...life brings lessons to all of us and we struggle to find ourselves in the chaos.  I am finally yearning to set myself free...to create, to be fearless, to trust, to be imperfect...to be me. There is a driving force within me now...this is the time, and this is the place to continue the journey I began two and a half years ago when I got my first camera. I am a student of photography...it is a process and I don't need to be perfect today.

I decided to share my story...a leap of faith so to speak...Thank you for taking the time to read it!

Suzette